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May 14, 2020

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30 avril 2020






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SATURDAY BREAKFASTS AT THE ORLEANS LEGION have been canceled until further notice under the nation wide state of emergency to combat the spread of COVID-19.

 

 

Fantastical trip to hot zone would be a welcome respite from reality

By Walter Robinson
May 14, 2020

It’s week ‘I stopped counting’ of COVID-19.  Let’s have some fun with the words and phrases we have learned since early March.

Time to quarantine this cold weather and physically distance to an outbreak hot zone.  Perhaps I could use my airfare voucher, future cruise credit and immunity passport and pack some PPE (personal protective equipment) like a bathing suit, iPod, flip flops and SPF 50.  While away, I will enroll in a clinical trial to test the safety and efficacy of rum-infused oral ‘medications’ and plan to remain asymptomatic through any resulting hangover.

I hope that each morning the only #Covidiot or morona to contend with is the towel and lounger hog.  This would be a magical place where a face mask is truly a spa treatment, N-95 means that the bingo-caller is simply confused, and when folks ask your occupation you can respond, “armchair epidemiologist.” Trip advisor or cruise critic reviews would rave about a pandemic of sunshine, live music, fine food, and great wine.

Back here in the reality of my zoom-room (aka: home office), fleeceware scams and Zoom-bombers have pushed me to change some on-line passwords.  Thankfully, medical terms like azithromycin, hydroxychloroquine, remdesivir and modified-RNA sprinkled with the odd &, #, ! and @ make for very strong passwords for my Amazon, Netflix and newsfeed accounts.

Speaking of newsfeeds, I am now addicted to doom-scrolling, where one searches coronaggedon and coronapocalypse stories for hours at a time.  I should really make an appointment with my doctor for next Blursday to see if he can prescribe an antiviral or vaccinate me for this condition.

Worse still, I’ve forgotten how to fill my gas tank.  In addition, any trip outside my comfy COVID-shelter requires a shave and shedding my pajamas.  Also, my schedule is also very full of make believe quaranteam calls (since I’m between gigs) and a daily appointment at locktail hour where visits to the isobar for a quarantini are an important calming ritual.

Finally, we’ve all learned a new dance as we avoid each other during our walks but the jury is still out on its name: coronawaltz, coronadodge and the covid-shuffle are the leading candidates.  Be safe, be well.

 

Entertainment

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Missoula Children’s Theatre production a lesson in teamwork

St. Peter production an ode to 70s era disaster films


The future is cloudy for Orléans speedskaters

Ottawa golf courses caught in coronavirus limbo

Orléans blind, deaf athlete trying to keep busy during COVID shutdown

 
Local business

  Opinion

 


CEDAR VALLEY LEBANESE FOOD: Owners celebrate two years in business

 

SANTÉ CHIROPRACTIC & WELLNESS CENTRE: Where healthy people go

 

180-FITNESS CENTRE: Home of the Biggest Loser

 

 

 


VIEWPOINT: Time to take personal responsibility in battle against COVID-19

 

WALTER ROBINSON: Fantastical trip to hot zone would be a welcome respite from reality

 

Doug Feltmate: COVID-19 pandemic the final straw for troubled restaurant industry

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