Welcome to the 32nd edition of the annual Fredzee awards. This is where I get to name some of year’s biggest winners and losers and hand out a few awards. When I came up with the first Fredzee Awards 32 years ago, I did so to avoid having to write a real column. I figured, “How difficult could it be?”

Turns out, in the years when there’s been a lot going on, it almost writes itself. Unfortunately, 2024 has not been one of those years. In fact, aside from the solar eclipse and the election south of the border, it’s been a pretty boring year, especially here in Canada, and particularly here in Ottawa.

So it was a Herculean effort to come up with this year’s selections but here they are... the 2024 Fredzee Awards. Please hold your applause until the end.

The Biggest Winners of 2024
1) Elon Musk. After hitching his wagon to Donald Trump’s re-election campaign, the richest man in the world is now one of the most powerful men in the world.
2) Cryptocurrency investors. Since Trump’s re-election, cryptocurrency stock has soared to dizzying heights with Bitcoin leading the way.

The Biggest Losers of 2024
Anyone who believes in common decency and the notion that good will always triumph over evil. Trump’s re-election has destroyed once and for any thought that America is still a shining beacon of exceptionalism.

Biggest Local Stories of 2024
1) The solar eclipse on April 8. The event of the year had everyone who was anyone running out to buy special viewing glasses to watch the eclipse, including 90 per cent of the population of Orléans.
2) In February, two victims of convicted sex offender and former St. Matthew High School teacher Rick Despatie launched a $220 million class action lawsuit against Despatie and the Ottawa Catholic School Board for aggressively down-playing,
diminishing and discounting” multiple complaints brought against Despatie between Jan. 1, 1989, and Apr. 30, 2022.
3) In July, Orléans East-Cumberland city councilor Matt Luloff withdrew his name as a candidate for the Conservative Party in the next federal election after being charged with impaired driving. He immediately contested the charge which is still before the courts.

Saddest Stories of 2024
1) “Johnny Hockey” Gaudreau and his brother Matthew are killed by an alleged drunk driver on Aug. 29 in New Jersey. The former Calgary Flame and his brother were out cycling when the accident happened – a day before they were supposed to attend their sister’s wedding.
2) Wildfires destroy nearly half of the build-ings in Jasper, Alberta and devastated more than 33,000-hectares of trees in Jasper National Park.

Newsmaker of the Year
Summer McIntosh – The Canadian swimmer became a household name at the Summer Olympics in Paris where she won three individual gold medals and a silver, becoming the first Canadian athlete to accomplish that feat at an Olympic Games.

The Sign Me Up Award
To the Florida-based cruise company that started marketing a four-year “skip forward” cruise immediately after the U.S. election.

The Cat of the Year Award
To Beans – a ginger and white cat – who went missing in late October after leaving its home near Glasgow, Scotland and was found weeks later in Coventry, Scotland more than 300 miles from home.

The One-Upmanship Award
To the emperor penguin that was found in Australia after traveling more than 2,000 miles from Antarctica where it had been tagged by researchers.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmm Award
To the 28-year-old South Korean dude who was caught trying to smuggle 320 tarantulas and 110 centipedes out of Peru by strapping them to his body.

The WTF Award
To cryptocurrency entrepreneur Justin Sun who bought an art piece consisting of a single banana duct-taped to a white wall for $6.2 million at auction and then proceeded to eat it. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Dumbest Idea of the Year Award + The Worst PR Move of the Year Award
To the union leadership at PSAC who thought it was a good idea to ask their members to boycott downtown businesses after Ottawa Mayor Mark Sutcliffe criticized the decision to allow federal employees to work from home two or three days a week.

Cheesiest Story of the Year Award
To the 63-year-old man who was arrested and charged for stealing more than 48,000 lbs of artisanal cheddar cheese worth approx. $389,000.

A Special Place in Heaven
To Donald Sutherland, Kris Kristofferson, James Earl Jones, Willie Mays, Pete Rose, Fernando Valenzuela, Quincy Jones, Teri Garr, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, and Richard Lewis, to name just a few of the celebrities who passed away in 2024.

(If you wish to comment on this or any other View Point column please write to Fred Sherwin at fsherwin@orleansstar.ca)